According to Slate, the matchup between the Cowboys and the Broncos in 1978 was the worst Super Bowl ever. Super Bowl 12 was filled with turnovers, bad passes and missed field goals. The Broncos quarterback completed only four passes through two-and-a-half quarters, two of which were fumbled by the receivers, and one of which resulted in negative yardage. The kicker for the Cowboys added to the game’s mediocrity by managing to miss three field goals in the second quarter.The Cowboys pulled out the win, by a score of 27 to 10, but it sure wasn’t pretty.

The game wasn’t a lopsided blowout, but it was a sloppy match that was painful to watch.

The contest between Trump and Clinton to become the 45th president of the United States is the political equivalent of Super Bowl 12 (and we won’t say which candidate is the Cowboys and which is the Broncos).

What makes this election cycle so lousy? Well, pretty much everything. Let’s start with the candidates themselves.

In one corner, we’ve got a candidate who wantonly brags about grabbing women by the pussy and who has had an unprecedented flood of sexual assault allegations leveled at him. In the other corner, we’ve got a candidate who has been involved in more public scandals–from WikiLeaks to the private server debacle–than any other candidate that has come before her.

From the second they began running for president, both Trump and Clinton have been hit with an astonishing barrage of negative commentary from every angle—including from individuals within their own parties. During my lifetime, I’ve never witnessed two presidential candidates whom elicited so much discontentment from the public.

In most elections, there are people on the left who disagree with the republican candidate and people on the right who disagree with the democratic candidate. This election is so different. This is a contest of extremes. Those who dislike Trump really hate his guts, and those who dislike Clinton really hate her guts. There is no in-between. This is the most divisive presidential election the U.S. has ever seen.

Worst of all, the overwhelming majority of this election has been focused upon childish, back-and-forth personal attacks between the candidates. Virtually zero time has been devoted to discussing real issues that actually affect the lives of Americans. The focus has been on the candidates themselves, rather than the American people, and this should never be the case in any election. It’s shameful and embarrassing that the needs of citizens have taken a backseat to this bizarre burlesque show between Trump and Clinton.

In fact, everything about this election has been shameful and embarrassing and a poor reflection upon our country. Foreign nations are paying close attention to the current happenings here in the U.S. and, surely, they are laughing at this sad reality show that we’re calling an election (ironically, this mess is oddly similar to a bad episode of The Apprentice). If Trump and Clinton are the best of the best that America has to offer, then we are sure to become the world’s laughing stock in short order.


Make no mistake, both Trump and Clinton have accomplished tons of worthy things in their lifetimes. I’m sure their LinkedIn profiles are stacked. They just don’t make very good presidential candidates, for a variety of reasons.

For Clinton, it’s the bag-lady syndrome that haunts her; she came into the race with a lot of baggage. From the Banghazi attack and the email server scandal, to the Clinton foundation and even her husband’s infidelity, Clinton’s critics have rifled through her piles of baggage and have taken every opportunity to use it all against her. And the leaked emails from WikiLeaks have just added to the seemingly endless mountain of baggage that has threatened to completely bury Clinton since her campaign began.

Allegedly, recently leaked comments have revealed that she’s made several millions in revenue giving speeches to Wall Street bankers while, simultaneously, she publicly denounced and demonized Wall Street bankers (she has also refused to release transcripts of these speeches). Donors who have given funds to the Clintons personally and to their foundation have also come into question, particularly in the case of donations from autocratic Middle Eastern nations.

In addition, Clinton says she is against the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) but, in the past, she has said TPP is “the gold standard” when it comes to trade agreements. And when speaking to a Brazilian bank in 2013, she advocated “open trade and open borders.”

There seems to be a disconnect between her private views and the things she says when speaking to members of the voting public. She even told top banking executives that she has “both a public and a private position” on Wall Street Reform and certain other issues. For all of these reasons (and more), many see her as an untrustworthy, two-faced establishment politician who will do anything to win. She’s viewed as a ruthless individual who is more than willing to lie in the pursuit of power. Clinton is obviously very experienced and accomplished, but these issues have seriously hampered her presidential pursuits.

Virtually zero time has been devoted to discussing real issues that actually affect the lives of Americans.

In Trump’s case, he has been his own worst enemy. As a politician, he has managed to offend blacks, Asians, Muslims, Mexicans, the disabled, members of the media, military POWs and, of course, women.

But that’s just a partial list. In fact, The New York Times published a fluid collection of the 274 people, places, and things Donald Trump has insulted on Twitter (and the list keeps growing).

At this point, he’s offended virtually every constituency that could possibly vote for him, except for white males.

And when it comes to women, Trump has surely broken the record for public infractions, insults, and transgressions towards the female gender by a political candidate. The Telegraph even put together a ‘sexism tracker,’ which is a website that attempts to document every offensive comment Trump has made towards or about women. The list is as tall as Trump Towers in New York.

Never before has such a seemingly misogynistic individual been elected to the presidency. Sure, Bill Clinton may have been a notoriously chauvinistic cocksman, but most of the public didn’t find out until after he became president. If Bill’s true colors had been shown before his presidential bid, he may not have won the election. Trump’s dirty laundry is being aired before he’s had the opportunity to rebrand the White House with his last name in big, gaudy gold letters.

Considering the fact that everything about Trump’s involvement in politics has been a farce (like something out of a Saturday Night Live skit), he’s actually had a really impressive run. He’s gone further than most people would have ever imagined he could.

But now, most folks think his run is over. Many believe the pageant of the bizarre is coming to a close and the reign of The Orange Man is ending. Officially he’s still in the race but, due to all the recent controversies, he’s definitely a significant underdog at this point. Just like Clinton, he has fervent supporters and he can still win. But it won’t be easy and he’s starting to look like Indiana Jones in the ‘bug tunnel’ scene from The Temple of Doom (the scene where the ceiling is closing down on the protagonists and it appears that their doom is imminent). Trump really needs his own Kate Capshaw to “pull the lever” for him and save his ass. But, at this point, it will be hard to get any woman to do anything helpful for him (other than a diehard supporter).

Although this election is one big sloppy mess right now, whoever wins–whether it be Clinton or Trump–could surprise everyone and go on to become one of the greatest presidents this nation has ever known. That would, clearly, be the preferred outcome from all of this foolishness. But if this crazy, Jerry Springer-esque clusterfuck of an election is any indication of things to come, the future is looking very bleak for all Americans.